Intimacy Troubles in Your Relationship

Many couples go through a period of time where they find that they are less than satisfied with their intimacy in their relationship. They used to have great intimacy and somehow it changed. Many couples can’t figure out why it changed and how to get it back. While it is normal to have phases and changes in intimacy over time, it doesn’t have to be the “new normal” and stay that way. Here are some factors that may be contributing to your intimacy troubles in your relationship:

1. Emotional connection. If the emotional connection between you and your partner is not there then it makes it more difficult to want to be intimate.
2. Communication. If there is a lack of communication or unhealthy communication in the relationship this can lead to conflict but also emotional disconnection.
3. Confidence. If a partner or both is not confident in themselves or is struggling to “like” themselves then this can have an impact of how confident they might be during intimate moments.
4. Time. Many couples discuss not having time for intimacy. This is where it is important to schedule time and make it a priority to emotionally connect, communicate and focus on the relationship.
5. Crockpot vs. Microwave. Knowing if your partner is a crockpot (needs time for preparation and build up to the intimacy) or a microwave (doesn’t need a lot of preparation or build up for intimacy)  can help meet the intimacy needs of your partner.
6. Love language. While intimacy in the relationship should be a priority and is healthy, it is not the only love language. Try getting to know what your partner’s love language is and work to help them feel fulfilled in their love language. This will also help create more emotional connection and confidence in the relationship.
7. Physical Touch. Many couples discuss not having but wanting intimacy that does not lead to intercourse. There are many different ways to be intimate including holding hands, cuddling, kissing etc… that doesn’t have to lead into more. It can just be a way to connect physically and emotionally.
8. Medical. Sometimes there are situations that might need a medical professional to look for hormonal, nutritional or vitamin imbalances that could contribute to one’s desire for intimacy or ability.

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All of these factors can be addressed and worked on in your relationship.  Your situation is not hopeless.  Many if not most couples experience intimacy issues during their marriage.  Intimacy, just like other parts of your relationship, evolve, change over time and can deepen your connection.

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